I dedicated this blog post to a special sister. You are beautiful inside and out!
A few weeks ago, I got on Instagram and felt like every believer in the world was at #MeetTheBowmans Wedding—literally—my timeline was flooded with pictures and videos of the wedding. I sort of felt jealous. Not because this was the wedding of the year. I mean, it's not like I wanted a Vera Wang gown or bae to sing to me as I came down the aisle. I mean, no biggie. But would my wedding be gloried the same way as this despite the fact that I am not a Virgin?
Yes, church, I know.
Being in a ministry filled with young adults, who were once living neck deep in sin, but never "went all the way," can have you feeling impure.
Their virginity is a consistent reminder that you are "experienced.” At times we can even feel too unworthy to be in a relationship with someone who is a virgin.
Also, you are sometimes reminded how impure you are when you have casual conversations with the brethren on relationships and someone shares that they prefer to marry a virgin, despite their own scandalous history. Ouch.
If that isn’t bad enough, you battle revisiting past memories that leave you feeling dirty all over again, while gagging over the fact that you even put yourself in those predicaments. It hurts, it’s painful. You have external forces coming against you, adding to the internal battle within your mind. It’s suffocating you from obtaining freedom. But I'm here to “Barnabas” you.
Here is encouragement to the Born Again Virgin
1. You are not your past
You were once a sinner, who said “yes” to Jesus and “no” to sin. Your record of sin was erased clean, and God kept no record of it. So “who you slept with? how many times you had sex?” and everything in between was erased! So your past is just that: your past. You may remember it, but your Father in Heaven keeps no record of it. So why are you still letting it define you? Let it go. It has no power over you.
“Absolutely not! How can we who died to sin still live in it?”
Romans 6:2 HCSB
“For I will be merciful to their wrongdoing, and I will never again remember their sins.”
Hebrews 8:12 HCSB
By holding onto your past, you undermine what Jesus did on the cross. He came to see you free and it's time you walk in that freedom.
“For we know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that sin’s dominion over the body may be abolished, so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin, since a person who has died is freed from sin’s claims.”
Romans 6:6-7 HCSB
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 HCSB
“It is for freedom, Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery,”
Galatians 5:1 NIV
2. You can be restored.
God is a healer. He raises the dead. He opens the eyes of the blind. He heals the lame to walk. He opens the womb of the barren. He cleansed the lady with the issue of blood. He woke up dry bones. Where am I going? He can and He will restore back your virginity.*
*DISCLAIMER: The focal point of this post is not to share the idea that you become a physical virgin again once you have had sex. A virgin is described as a person who has not engaged in sexual intercourse. God can and will renew your mind, restore back your purity, and erase yourhistory; making you whole. So after receiving salvation, you are seen as forgiven and pure because Jesus died for you. This however, does not equate being a physical virgin. Stating that you are one would be misleading and we don't condone lying.
3. You are pure because He is pure.
The world has the own definition of what purity is.
White, bright, and light.
But that’s the world, so how do we become pure?
“You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me.”
John 15:3-4 HCSB
God has deemed you pure and declared it over you. Not as a verb, but as a noun. So that is not something your past can dictate, but more so has to do with your current state with and in God. Abide in Him, because outside of Him, you can’t be righteous, nor produce this fruit of righteousness: purity. So rest and trust in Him, where your true identity lies.
While you may not be recognized and applauded for fighting for your purity, there is a Father, who lives in your HOLY Temple, that is pleased and honored that you have made efforts to be set apart and practice abstinence. Now that’s something to glorify!