Our Covenant is Friendship
In the Kingdom, we tend to practice “guarding our heart” when we are interacting with the opposite sex, mainly when working together in ministry and engaging in friendships. Being a reasonable person, I fully understand and agree with taking precaution and using wisdom when engaging with the opposite sex.
When I was in the world, I had plenty of close guy friends, and you know how that goes. First, you guys become friends. Then, the friendship turns into something more, but neither of you want to “commit.” So instead you label each other as “best friends” to disguise the true nature of your relationship. Praise God for renewal of the mind, literally! It’s the end of soul ties that I disguised as friendships.
A year after being saved, I got to know a guy named Gabriel Euzebio. “Let me tell you about my best friend.”
Like most people our age, we met on social media, Twitter to be exact. We later met in person, Feb 10th, 2012, the day we surrendered our lives to God. I love this boy with all my heart. He claims to love me more, but whatever. He made this amazing website for me from scratch. I can confidently say, he is one of my few friends with common sense.
Many people think this, but only a few are brave to ask: How did two [cool, good looking] people of the opposite sex maintain a healthy relationship? Here’s how.
1. We pursued friendship
You are probably thinking, “well duh.” But seriously. We solely pursued friendship from the jump. No hidden motives. No secret intentions. No unknown agenda. We intentionally made an effort to hang out and to develop a friendship.
2. Set Boundaries
You might also be wondering why you should set boundaries if you are “just friends.” Well, if you don’t set boundaries, there is a greater chance that you can be more than friends. When you have a vision, but no road map on how to pursue that vision, you tend to lose focus.
Gabe and I mainly interacted by texting or in-person outings such as watching a movie, eating out, going to the museum, shopping, or attending a concert. I could count the number of times we've spoke on the phone on just one hand. I've probably facetime Gabe about four times.
Gabe and I did most of our communication in person. However, we tend to have other friends around. We hung out with the rest of the crew.
3. Watch What Was Spoken Over Us
Words are powerful, whether you like to admit it to it. They plants seeds and after sometime, the seeds begin to grow and manifest in the physical. Then, you start wondering why you are starting to have certain feelings. I don’t have time. I am not the one. People continued to talk and kept insinuating that we were an item.
When did God join us as one? Because I was waiting for the memo. Our friends would make remarks like “Are you texting your boyfriend?” or “Are you going out with your boyfriend?” If looks could kill, I’ll be charged with murder. We made an effort to check our friends when they spoke those things over our lives. We didn’t want them to grow, so we made every efforts to uproot them.
Why go through all this trouble when it just a friendship?
I didn't want the woman who rightfully owns the position of his wife to feel threatened by our friendship. You know the scenario when a girl has boyfriend, but he has a female best friend. Uh no! I didn't want to her to feel threatened by our friendship.
I couldn't imagine a woman for him, but I knew one day she would eventually come. A few months later, she actually appeared and since then, our friendship has changed, but for the better.
Because out of this covenant of friendship, I inherited a sister.
I absolutely love Debbie...when she isn't talking. She is like the little sister I never wanted. She would make a terrible Godmother to my unborn child, teaching them to act crazy and dramatic. I can’t wait. I am elated to have her in my life and as a part of the Urban Disciple team. I look forward to making my embarrassing toast at their wedding as payback for all those times she smothered me in “love” :).
Thanks for reading. I pray this challenges you to question your current and future relationships with people of the opposite sex and any motives you may unknowingly have.