Passion Fruit

I’ve been practicing abstinence, but that hasn’t stopped my body from having sexual urges. What’s a girl to do?

When we fight for our purity, we have to implement tactics that will not only assist us in winning the battle but also help us understand the beauty of the sex drive God gave us. In Genesis 1, God gave Man their sex drive.

Then God blessed them and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.
— Genesis‬ ‭1:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

As we can see, later on, Adam and Eve were not only aware of their sex drive but once united, they felt no shame in engaging intercourse because God had ordained it and there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
— Genesis‬ ‭2:25‬ ‭NLT‬‬

But for many of us, we have engaged in sexual acts before entering the covenant of marriage. After that decision, we are left fighting for purity to remain pure and holy before God, the one has removed the old nature. When you start to experience sexual desires, don’t suppress it. Redirect the passion.

Here are practical ways to redirect your drive.


1. Get up. Get out.

There is a 99.9% chance that when you are experiencing sexual urgencies when you are alone...in your room...in your bed. Maybe you should relocate from the source of your urges and go to a place that doesn’t trigger them. Let’s say to the library or your local church. Definitely gonna kill your buzz and dampen your fire a bit. When this happens, use your energy to focus on something productive.

2. Kill the Flesh with the Word

“How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.”
Psalm 119:9

The word of God has the power to save and deliver. To set free and to bring back life to the death. It’s active and alive. When you are horny, seek the word. Watch your spirit come alive.

”So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace...But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you...Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.  For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live.”

Romans 8:6, 9, 12-13

When you are desiring sex, you are not obligated to obey your desires. You are no longer a slave to your old nature. Remind yourself of your identity by reading the word.

3. Add more people to the mix

When your mind is in overdrive, run towards a community. When in a community, we are really able to do life with one another. We can laugh, create memories and carry each other’s burden. When in the midst of the brethren, turn your passion towards being present with that. Also, in the presence of other people, it’s hard to desire sex, because you are bombarded by their presence.

4. Avoid One on One with the opposite sex

The last thing you wanted to be near is an individual of the opposite sex. Like your mind may see that person as a fellow brethren, but the flesh sees otherwise. In one moment, an acquaintance not only starts looking like a potential significant other but also starts looking like a possible snack for your cravings. That’s the devil perverting your focus on God and His people. When your flesh is acting like a ticking time bomb, avoid anyone that can fuel the fire.

5. Pick up your hobby

When your flesh is acting up, time to put your mind on something you love. Your passion. Your talent. Your hobby. Whether it is writing, singing, dancing, photography, design, get up and do it. Time to put your mind towards something productive and something that brings you joy. By the time you are done creating, you will feel fulfillment and pride. Plus, its a way to show glory to the Father, and not your flesh.

You are not the only one that experiences urgencies. We, who are not called to singleness, experience them as well. We all have our method of dealing with it. Find yours and utilize it. Just don’t suppress it. It’s passive and can lead the devil to pervert a gift of God.