3 Things I learned in Singleness

This blog post has been in the works for over a year. Regardless of my lack of consistency, it does not disqualify or devalue the tips that have brought contentment to my season of singleness. Here are some lessons that have made my stay in the Friendzone more pleasant.

NEVER force anyone to love you

I am pretty sure you are evaluating your current friendzone situation and debating if you are in any way, shape or form forcing anyone to love you. It’s okay. I will help you figure it out. If you are behaving in a manner that is not like your usual self, then you are in fact trying to draw attention to yourself to be noticed. You don't have to manipulate your ways, in order to be noticed. If you got “it,” “it” doesn't beg for attention. If they can’t see and recognize your worth, then you are not for them. When Adam saw Eve, he knew who she was. Eve did not have to personify a false perception, nor alter who God made her be, in order to attract the attention of Adam. In fact, because she remained true to herself, he saw her for who she was-- his wife. 

Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.  And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

In fact, the moment Eve changed who she was by eating the apple, is the moment Adam didn’t recognize her as his wife, but a stranger.

Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”

 Learn to keep boundaries between you and your close opposite sex friends

I don’t need to dive in further, do I? I think the subtitle suffices, but nonetheless, I will expound more, possibly exposing myself in the process. In our Christian community, we have various types of relationship, a fraction of them being platonic relationships with the members of the opposite sex. No harm done. However, harm can be done if the lines of friendship and an uncommunicated relationship becomes blurred. That’s where boundaries come into place.

Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.
— Proverbs 29:18 NIV

Boundaries keep the opposite sex in the friendzone before they assume they are being promoted to a significant other. No, baby, what is you doing? That spot is reserved for Kofi.

Singleness is the prerequisite for a relationship

It would be amazing if we didn’t have to endure singleness as long as we do right now. To not have to endure years of singleness. To be married and young. However, that’s not the case for many of us. We, men and women, have to go through the waiting process. Remember that waiting is synonymous with maturing. In this season of waiting, learn to grow and mature as an individual and to experience life as a single person. Sometimes, we have that impression that we have evolved to our fullest potential, but there is always room to improve mentally, spiritually, and financially. Invest in yourself. Love yourself. Treat yourself. Don’t wait for a significant other to start enjoying the beauty of life.


In this season of singleness, what is God teaching you? What is He saying to you? As you are waiting, hearken to His voice. Remember He can love you more than any man or woman ever could.

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