This post is dedicated to all the extraordinary women of God that serve the body and love the church beyond ordinary human capabilities. And also to the men that are fortunate to do life with them.
Are you saved? Are you dedicated to the house of the Lord? Are you single?
Well, this post might be for you.
As you get older, you tend to go through this season where there is an increase of bridal shower, wedding and baby shower invites being sent to your house, that your parents believe they can open and read as well. But that, of course, proceeds after the season when couples announce to the single community that they are no longer affiliated with them and have joined the ranks of those walking towards marriage. It’s a very nice ceremony, sort of something out of Divergent.
Just like Divergent, in the Kingdom, we have various types of personalities. According to Danny Silk, there are four types: Dominant, Steadfast, Conscientious, and Influencer. A better way to think of the first two is as — Alpha and Beta. Alphas are of course dominant, natural born leaders, who take initiative and are dedicated to whatever they are involved in.
By default, people would classify me as an Alpha, because of my personality. But deep down, I am really just a Beta with a loud mouth.
In the summer of 2013, I was simply discussing the meaning of some scriptures with an aunt, when she abruptly looked at me with a deep stare. I was expecting her to ask me when did I become so knowledgeable about the bible. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Instead, she asked, "do you think you can be intimidating to men?"
Whoa! Was that even seasoned with salt? Instead of rebuking the thought and taking it captive, I did what any girl would do. I pondered on the thought. I mean I never thought of singleness like that. I assumed I was just being me; bold, dominant and an overachiever. I asked Gabe, “am I intimidating to ‘men’?” He assured me that I wasn't to him, but I could be to others because I’m “confident when [I] speak.”
Am I single because I am so ‘gong ho’ for the Lord like my other counterparts? Am I doing too much? Am I alone here? Nah, I’m not alone. I’m in the friendzone with other Alpha women. You probably think there is a lack of Alpha men. Or a lot of brothers probably overlooking you, and pursuing “newly saved, recently saved, barely saved or everything, but saved” women.
Then, you start to feel like “Am I doing too much?”
s t o p
Don’t let that thought take root. You may see ministry as a burden that’s hindering you from looking “appealing” to Brothers in Christ, but actually, you are right where you need to be.
When I look back at all the great women of God in the bible, I can't help to think that I’m right where God wants me to be.
Eve | Esther | Rachel | Rebecca | Ruth
These women were all in ministry, going about their business, totally focused on the Lord when they caught the attention of Adam, King Xerxes, Jacob, Isaac, and Boaz. They were doing what they were called to do. Not avoiding ministry in hopes of marriage, but being empowered to be all that God had called them to be.
As single individuals, we are called to devote ourselves to the work of the Lord and seek His righteousness, trusting that He would reward us according to our diligent service. Even as married women, our pursuit for the Lord shouldn’t cease.
So surrender all your cares and worries to the Lord. He has every aspect of your life planned out. It’s literally mapped out in His hand. He will order your steps and He will make a path for you. Because at the end of the day, it’s not you, but God that leads you into a relationship. God is faithful to His servants.
Don’t let the enemy feed you lies. And don’t feel insecure about your involvement in ministry. If you feel that it makes you less “attractive” to brothers in Christ, then realize you are avoiding men who need to deal with their insecurities before entering into a real relationship.
So in the meanwhile, as you “wait,” please keep pursuing the Lord with all your heart. It may lead you to your partner or just help present you before him as you cross paths.
I pray this blog post blesses you. As you continue to walk with the Lord, trust He will lead you in all aspects of your life, including marriage. In the meanwhile, check out "The Pursuit."